


MAGIC WIZARD SHITSHOW

by M0RG4N173



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Homestuck
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Strong Language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-14 22:37:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20608484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/M0RG4N173/pseuds/M0RG4N173
Summary: Magic is stupid. Bluh Bluh wwizard bullshit. In reality there's just a lot of shenanigans going on with very little answers given. On both sides.





	1. CHAPTER FUCKING ONE

Dream Karkat was watching dream John fuck around with a white juju type house thing. The very dead Vriska had thrown it to the floor in a bout of frustration and now that human idiot had half his gog damn arm in it. What that frustration was about he hadn’t a clue, wasn’t paying much attention to her screeching of pissy cerulean blooded rage as she hissed and spat. Man, it was a great thing, selective hearing was. He could get mad about her raving about whatever and start a shouting match with her. Thinking about it was already causing him stress and he wasn’t even doing it physically!

Something caught his eye, tearing his bored gaze from Vriska to John. He was… He was flashing white. Why the fuck is he flashing white?? He didn’t get to say anything before his dream was interrupted from the flashes and he was pulled back to waking reality from the dream bubbles. However the pull wasn’t normal. Didn’t feel normal at all. He felt like he was being misplaced. Somewhere foreign. Not the beloved, more like really boring and shitty meteor he knew. Felt like he was falling… Fast. Way too fast.

He saw the sky, the stars and clouds. A moon. One, singular moon as white as doc scratches fucking bulbous featureless head. Wind was rushing passed. Whistling in his ears and it felt like it was cutting through his thick clothes. It was then his groggy, tired mind realized that he was, in fact, falling through the atmosphere. He started to actually panic and tried to look where he was falling to. The wind stung his eyes. FUCK! He had to flip over. He forced himself to turn mid air and forced his hands in front of him. He saw the incoming ground. Dead grass. A field and water. He was headed to one of the ponds. GOOD FUCK HES GONNA BELLY FLOP INTO A FUCKING POND. TURN BACK OVER. FUCK_ TURN **OVER**_.

Karkat managed to turn back over in time to hit the water. It stole the air from his lungs and almost made him black out. He couldn’t breathe and his body forced him to the surface. He breathed, loud and hard and ragged. He winced. Back stung with awful tingles going through his limbs and it had definitely shook his brain nearly out of his ears. He tried to stay near the water's surface, the bottom of the nasty smelling waterhole a foot deeper than him. Karkat swam to the closest shore. Or tried his best to swim. More like half drown as he hopped to shallow water. Once there he coughed hard, freeing any H2O from his airbags and sending pain through his very numb body.

“That fffucking sucked…,” He muttered as he gasped. His breath seemed to catch in his throat, “What the FUCK?????” WHY WAS HIS FUCKING VOICE DEEPER. WHAT THE FUCK??!! _WHAT THE **FUCK?????!!!**_ Karkat then proceeds to flip his shit because apparently he can’t handle the fact that his voice had gotten a tad deeper. A light shone in his eyes. Cursing, he covered them, smacking his face doing so. “**_GET THAT FUCKING LIGHT OUT OF MY OCULAR ORBS YOU SWEAT DRINKING C U N T._**”

“Bloody hell is that??” A semi-squeaky voice asked behind the light. “Did you NOT FUCKING HEAR ME??? GET THAT FUCKING LIGHT OUT OF MY FACE!!” Karkat snapped, waving his hand to knock the light away.

“Oi My wand!” Says the squeaky voice as there was a splash. Karkat blinked a few times and rubbed his eyes. Gog fucking, he was seeing fucking spots! Some people. More light as the one person went to get whatever he knocked from their hand. One of the two orbs went up while the other was still trained on him. The white light illuminated circular glasses and a scar that looked like lightning.

“Hermione, what do you think that is?” The pink monkey of a male human asked. “I have no idea. I don’t recognize it from any of my books.” A female voice answered behind the light.

“I’M NOT AN “_IT_” YOU FUCKING CUCKS. I AM CLEARLY A SENTIENT MOTHERFUCKING PERSON WHO CAN CLEARLY ITERATE HIS WORDS OR IS YOUR EARS ON YOUR FUCKING FEET, ANKLE DEEP IN THE MOTHERFUCKING SLIME CALLED MUD TO NOT UNDERSTAND THE SAME SHPEEL COMING OUT OF MY GUMFLAPPERS,” He was real close to chunking those fucking glowing orbs as far as possible. The one who was pointing the glow at the troll lowered the light.

“What awful language,” The girl said with a distasteful huff.

“At least it can speak English and understand us,” The male shrugged looking at the girl. The second came up wiping a stick on his shirt, freeing it of mud.

“So what should we do with it,” Says the squeaky fuckhead. Karkat bit his tongue to keep from screaming at them. He was being blatantly ignored and he didn’t need this right now. He was wet, cold, in mild pain and apparently on a fucking planet full of pink squishy monkeys he knew as human beings. This was _fantaaaastic. _Ungrateful bastards. He let out a frustrated grunt and started walking. Fuck this. Fuck this up the ass. He hadn’t the patients to deal with this bullshit. He sloshed out of the water and muck as the trio watched him struggle and stumble and mutter.

“Should we stop him?” The squeaky voice one asked.

“Uhhh…” There was a sound like an explosion above, reverberating above them all and sending hard wind across the field. Karkat had jumped and covered his ears, yelling as he looked to see what the absolute fuck was that. A light streaked across the sky before dying. Someone else was falling. He knew that someone.

“Another one?!” Goes Squeaky.

“Come on! Harry, bring the first one.” The girl said as Karkat ran ahead, “Uh..”

“You were saying?”

“Hush up,” Karkat was ran as they fell and splashed into the water only stopping at the edge of the pond. A few moments. Why wasn’t he coming up?? Panic went through his chest as the three others came up behind. _Why wasn’t he coming up?? Why wasn’t-_he just remembered. Gamzee couldn’t swim. He had taken his hands from his head and rushed in cursing loudly and very colorfully as he went deeper until he couldn’t touch. He dove. His heart was pounding as his eyes quickly adjusted to the murky water. Where was he? Where_ THE FU**CK WAS HE?**_

A bit of grey. A hand. He quickly grabbed it. His chest hurt. Fucking hell, why was he so heavy??? He kicked harder. Damnit. His vision was going dark. FFFuUUUUCK. He could see something else. That Goddamn Fucking Light On a Stick. The kid with the lightning scar. He grabbed the other arm of Gamzee and helped him to the surface. The three breached. Karkat coughed as the human monkey led them to shore. Karkat had to keep the fucking clowns head above water. The other human monkey went knee deep to drag him to higher ground. Karkats heart was in his throat making it very, very hard to breathe. Gamzee was completely unconscious.

“Gamzee...Gamzeegamzeegamzeewakeup. Wakeupyoustupidfuck…” Karkat had been mumbling as he shakily moved the clowns face from its side. He held his shaky hand in front of his mouth and nose. He muttered in climbing terror, “He’s not breathing…”

The girl gently moved Karkat aside and pulled Gamzee to lay on his back. She put her hands, balled and directly on the sternum. She pumped. Once. Twice. Thrice. Then stopped to lean down, ear near Gamzee’s mouth. She repeated the process. Karkats chest was tightening. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. Gamzee wake up.. Wakeup...wakeupwakeup… His eyes were starting to sting. Ears ringing as he watched her repeat the process again. Gamzee coughed and water came from his mouth. The girl had quickly move him to his side so he wouldn’t choke on the water coming up. Karkat felt joy over take him. THANK GOG, HE WAS ALIVE. A quiet growl came from the larger troll and the crab boy’s joy was quickly short lived. Oh Fuck. Red eyes flashed as he threw the girl off him easily.

The lanky troll was clumsy, obviously uncoordinated from the near death experience. He was stumbling back, trying to get away, snarling in defense and probably terror. He had fallen back into the water, breathing hard and wincing. Karkat went to him, pulled to shush him. Calm the bigger troll down. Gamzee was breathing hard, make up smeared and running like hell. Karkat didn’t care if it came off on his hands as he papped his cheek softly. He kept the Capricorns eyes locked on him, the red slowly turning back to the normal orange as he calmed down. Karkat smiled up at him. “Hey dumbass…”

“H..hey Karbro…” The bigger troll spoke in a hushed, somewhat breathless tone. It sounded like it hurt to breathe. He was lazily smiling anyways, the asshole...

“What the hell are you guys?” The squeaky voice gritted against Karkats' ears, breaking the fucking pale mood going on. Karkat looked at the human with a scowl. His red hair seemed to glow a bit from the lighty stick of stupidity.

“WhOa BrO. YoU gOt NeW mOtHeRfUcKiN fRiEnDs?” Gamzee asked in that slow, relaxed tone of his. He noted the different pitch in his voice along with his own. The question was brief in his head. A flash more like. Had they gotten older?

“WHAT’S IT LOOK LIKE, YOU DIMWIT? WE’RE FUCKING TROLLS.”

“I don’t think so. You look nothing like mountain trolls. Or even cave trolls,” The girl matter of factly stated, her glowy stick pointed at the two. Karkat forced himself to keep from growling.

“WE’RE TROLLS. NO, NOT MOUNTAIN TROLLS OR WHATEVER BUT TROLLS. THE ORIGINALS. TECHNICALLY WE, OR SHOULD I SAY, I AM YOUR GOD YOU MISERABLE SHITS.”

The first human, Glasses laughed. “Yeah, and I’m Voldemort.” The other two laughed. So did Gamzee. Though, Karkat knew the clown had no idea what he was laughing about. Fuck, he had no idea who or what they were laughing about.

He rolled his eyes, “OH HAHA. FUCKING HILARIOUS. BELIEVE ME OR NOT, I DON’T GIVE TWO SHITS.”

“KaRbRo, YoUr FrIeNdS aRe HiLaRiOuS,” Gamzee chuckled. Another eye roll.

“GAMZEE… shut the hell up please,” The cancer had a headache and honestly was tired as hell.

“What’s with all this shouting?!” Another woman, an older woman’s voice came from halfway across the field. She was round and coming this way also with a glowy stick of stupidity. She looked liked the Squeaky boy, red hair and freckles. “Oh good heavens!”

“Just some blokes mum. They say they’re trolls.” Says the Squeak. Karkat wanted to knock his freckled ass out.

“Trolls?? They look like kids to me… Oh dear and soaked to the bone as well. Harry, Ron, help them to their feet. A cup a tea, clean clothes and a good talk should straighten things out. Come on now.” The older woman said, waving her hand to the human boys. The Squeak boy gave a short sigh and Spectacles came to the two trolls, offering them a hand from the water. Karkat swiped Spectacles hand away and stood easy enough. Gamzee was more compliant to the redheads help. Karkat had also pulled the clown up.

“Come along now,” The older woman led the way as the young girl killed her light and put away her fucking stick of stupidity. Gamzee was the one to coax him along. Well, more like drug him along with the other humans. Apparently there was a type of shack like hive was in the middle of the field. A few windows were lit. Part of it looked half destroyed from fire. They soon entered into a kitchen, the older woman holding the door as all of the children walked in, “Harry, show these boys the bathroom so they can clean up. I think there’s some of Bill and Charlie’s old clothes in the attic, Ron can you get them.”

“Yes mum,” The human apparently named Ron answered, going up a rickety staircase that looked newer than the rest of the house while the Harry waved the two trolls to follow up a different staircase. This shack was a lot bigger than initially thought. Pictures on the walls moved, watching them climb up. Karkat felt really creeped out with how life like they all moved. Watching them. Gamzee seemed ecstatic to see this shit move. Hazy eyes wide with wonder. He forgot how easily the fucking clown was entertained.

The Harry monkey stopped, “Bathrooms here. I don’t have to walk you through how to clean yourself do I?”

“OF COURSE NOT YOU SHITEATING TIT,” Karkat spat, dragging Gamzee inside, slamming the heavy wooden door. He mumbled quietly. A large hand papped his cheek from behind him. Only slightly annoyed at the gesture, Karkat gently batted his hand away. “Fuck off, I’m calm.”

“DoN’t MoThErFuCkIn SeEm CaLm BrO…” He retorted. He flashed that slow lazy grin at him and suddenly Karkat couldn’t bring himself to be mad at the stupid clown.

“Well, I am. Come on, let's get this mud off of you,” Karakt grabbed a plush rag and started to clean his dumbass friend’s face. Free of caked on makeup and muck and grass. His heart seemed to stop for a moment. Three long, almost jagged scars ran across his face. Thin and prominent as ever against the dull bulb light. Where did he?… When had he?… His head started to hurt just behind his eyes. Gamzee looked at him weird.

“KaRbRo?” Karkat shook his head and waved him off, mumbling he was fine. A knock came from the door. Karkat answered begrudgingly. Human named Ron was there holding clothes that looked like they could fit more Gamzee than him. Unlike Kanaya, he hadn’t thought to keep an extra set on him and he knew damn well Gamzee didn’t ever change. Karkat scowled and snatched them from the freckled fucks hands.

“Don’t tear them with your weird claw hands,” Ron said.

“Fuck off.” Karkat closed the door quickly before Ron could retort. The two cleaned up, Karkat being faster and dressed quickly. The clothes were so fucking baggy, he felt ridiculous. His voice had gotten deeper but he seemed to not have grown at all! Gamzee however, seemed to had gotten a foot taller. The new human clothes a few inches too short. How the fuck had they aged so much from FALLING??? Gamzee tapped his shoulder to knock him from his thoughts. He looked up to the purple blood. “What?”

“HeLp Me WiTh My MaKe Up BrO?” He asked, holding the grey face paint. Karkat shrugged. Fuck it. Why not? He did his best to cake that gunk onto his face, covering the scars up easily. Didn’t take him long to finish. Another knock at the door and Karkat further frowned, going to answer it as Gamzee looked over his best friends shitty job.

The older woman, the equivalent of a human lusus was at the door, “Have you finished? I have tea made.”

“ThAnKs LaDy.” Gamzee opened the door almost making Karkat fall if not for the other trolls arm that had snaked its way around his shoulder.

“Ah… Looks like you’re a bit taller than Bill… Oh well! I’m sure I can rehem the pants at least. Are you two ready?” She asked.

“YeEeEeEuP! AiN’t We KaRbRo??” Gamzee answered, hugging onto Karkat.

“I FUCKING GUESS,” Karkat frowned a bit. Hhhhhhhhfucking Gamzee why???? The woman’s warm face seemed to change briefly, flashing a look of absolute disapproval.

“I’m going to have to ask you not to use that kind of language under my roof.” She said sternly. That… That somehow made Karkat feel bad.

“S-sorry…” He mumbled, crossing his arms and looking away.

“It’s quite alright.” She smiled at him. “Come now. Lets go warm your bones.” The woman led them back down the winding stairs. It had gotten warmer as the woman flicked her stick of stupity at a fireplace and it lit up. A low rumbling fire gently flicking and leeching away the cold from the ponds. Gamzee made a quiet noise of amazement, muttering a small holy shit. Karkat couldn’t help but roll his eyes. He’s seen better magic… Wait had he? He didn’t dwell on it however as the woman asked them to take a seat and a teapot floated by. This time he couldn’t help but gawk, sitting down. Some plates floated by with small sandwiches. Two tea cups flew by and sat down gently in front of them then the teapot poured its contents, kinda looking like the very water they landed in. Gross… Karkat thought. Gamzee was completely enamored with everything floating around.

“Go on drink and relax. It’s not going to bite, just make sure to blow on it.” The woman smiled, sitting in a seat across the table. Gamzee forgot to blow and nearly dropped the cup. He had his tongue sticking out and pouted a little. Karkat muttered something and just held his. The woman quietly chuckled, “I’m Molly Weasley. This is my home and you two can stay as long as you like to regain your bearings.”

“ThAnK yA kInDlY mOlLy” Gamzee grinned.

“Of course,” She smiled back. “What’s your names by the way?”

“Why-” Karkat started. Gamzee cut him off.

“GaMzEe MaKaRa. ThIs Be My BeSt MoThErFuCkIn FrIeNd KaRkAt,” He had clapped a large hand onto his back nearly making him drop his cup.

“FUCKING EASY YOU OVERSIZED DUMBASS. I ALMOST DROPPED THIS HOT SHIT ON ME,” Karkat screeched.

“SoRrY kArBrO,” Gamzee looked apologetic.

“Language.” Molly scowled a bit and Karkat tried to make himself look a bit smaller than he already was. She had the lusus power of the goddamn century.

“Sorry…” He muttered.

“Thank you. Now can you explain how you got here?” She asked. One of the kids from before had came down. The girl had a notebook, leather bound with dull golden spirals on it and a few other books in her arms. She came and sat down, opening said leather notebook and then one of the text books.

“NO IDEA,” Karkat answered. Truthfully, he couldn’t remember how he came to be falling into what he guessed was another Earth.

“ONE MINUTE I’M SLEEPING WONDERFULLY, FROLICKING THROUGH DREAMBUBBLES GALLOR LIKE A JACKASS AND THEN SUDDENLY I WAKE UP TO ALMOST DYING.”

“Fell from the sky?” Molly asked quietly. She looked to be thinking.

“YEAH. FROM THE SKY.”

“Maybe they were knocked off something.” The girl said flipping through the pages. Gamzee was looking over at the book, trying to see what the pictures were. Karkat could care less about the book.

He huffed, arms crossed, “I FFFfff… I DOUBT IT.”

“KaRbRo… ThEsE mOtHeRfUcKiN bOoK gOt MoViN pIcTuReS iN iT…” Gamzee had that stupid grin again. He poked a page with a fish person on it and the fish person had moved away from his finger. His eyes widened as he did it again, “mOtHeRfUcKiN mIrAcLeS…”

“Can either of you remember?” Molly asked.

“GAMZEE CAN YOU REMEMBER HOW YOU FELL?” Karkat asked the spacing clown.

“WhA? I FeLl?? AlL i ReMeMbEr Is KiNdA fAlLiN iNtO fOoT a WaTeR wItH aLl YoUr NeW fRiEnDs BrO,” he rubbed the back of his neck, tearing his eyes away from the moving book. Figures… He wasn’t conscious when he fell. Karkat rubbed his temples, his headache boring deeper into his brain. Molly hummed tapping her chin.

“Well I guess we’ll have to wait for your memories to come back then. Carcat do you need something for your head?” The lusus asked sitting up a little.

“I’M FINE.” Karkat snapped. Gamzee looked at him like Really, are you reaaaally??? An annoying look.

“CoMe On BrO, dOn’T bE aLl Up ‘N lYiN tO yOuRsElF,” He poked the smaller troll. Karkat narrowed his eyes and quietly growled. The taller troll papped him gently which shut him up easy enough. Molly had gotten up, moving to a cabinet in the rather small kitchen just off the dining room. Seriously, this shack was bigger than first thought. The girl was watching the two closely this entire time.

“WHAT?” Karkat hissed at her.

“Nothing, I’m just taking notes.”

“WE AREN’T FUCKING ZOOBEASTS ON DISPLAY SO KNOCK IT OFF.”

“Zoo beasts? Like zoo animals??”

“DID I FUCKING STUTTER???” He barked. The girl scribbled something down with what looked like a quill. What the hell kind of old school bullshit was this?

“Carcat, please language,” She sounded a bit exasperated. His ears reddened a bit as she set a new thing of tea in front of him, “Here drink this and your headache should go away quickly.”

He looked at it. A weird swirling dull green, smelt nice though, inviting even. He’s seen grosser looking shit on Alternia. Hell, they ate grubsauce like it was going out of style even though there was plenty of grubs to go around. If it weren’t for the brooding trials they all would be swimming in the little shits. He sipped it hesitantly… Hmm gross…

“I know, not the best tasting thing there is but it helps,” Molly chuckled. Guess he was making a face. She sipped on hers, “Hermione have you introduced yourself yet?”

“Oh, no. Been busy with notes,” The girl, Hermione said not looking up from her notebook. If he were to read what she wrote, he could see it was about him and Gamzee.

“Of course, I’m sure you’ve been busy with that summer homework,” Molly set her tea down. Gamzee was leaning on Karkats shoulder. He was slowly getting heavier, “Well, I suppose you two are in need of rest. Finish that up and I’ll show you to a bed you can collapse in.”

Fuck yes. Bed sounded amazing. Karkat chugged the rest of the awful drink and tried to stand, jostling Gamzee from his growing stupor. Molly grinned softly and set her cup down. All their teacups lifted and flitted away to the sink. They cleaned, dried and put themselves up. She stood up and so had he. He needed to pull Gamzee to his feet as she started to leave the room, looking back to make sure they were following her. They left the Hermione to her scribbling.

Up the stairs, passed the bathroom. Up, up to the last doors near the roof. The pictures eyes of this family starring the entire gog damned time. He swore there was a crawling up his spine from them. Ugh, he hated it. Molly opened the rickety door and held it for the two. Gamzee was practically asleep on his feet and he dragged him in. Though it was dark and the only light was from the window in the roof and the opened door Karkat could see two human beds sat in opposite corners, trunks at the foot of them. Beds made neatly. There wasn’t much else to note. Walls were barren, free of nothing. Felt emptier than it should be…

“You two can sleep in here. Was my twins room but I’m sure you could make better use of it than them…” For some reason, he could hear a hint of sorrow in her tone. “Good night Carcat. Good night Gamzee.”

“NiGhT wIcKeD sIs,” Gamzee tiredly waved. Karkat hadn’t responded and she shut the door tightly. He listened to her go back down the small hall and then fade down the stairs. Gamzee moved away from Karkats grip and collapsed into the bed on the right. He was snoring in the matter of minutes. Oh how he envied the clown. Easy to get to sleep for him. Karkat looked up and out the window in the roof. The moon was small and crested and white… Strange. It was so strange. He was use to two or even the darkness of the void. His brain wouldn’t shut off. Kept trying to figure out what the hell was going on. What was going on? How had they both gotten there? He stared at the moon…


	2. CHAPTER MOTHERFUCKING TWO I GUESS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MORNING TIME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow... I LITERALLY DIDN'T THINK THIS WOULD GET ANY ATTENTION. BUT NONE THE LESS ANOTHER LOVELY CHAPTER FOR YOU GUYS. THANK YOU FOR STICKING WITH THIS AWFUL THING. :D I MADE IT A BIT LONGER THIS TIME.

The morning came too quickly. Like way too quickly. There was a brief panic when Karkat felt sunlight against his eyelids. At first he thought it was the red sun of his home planet but when he didn’t feel pain against his skin, he cracked an eye. The light was warm and gentle. Oh right, not his planet. His head hurt and his body hurt, the bed hadn’t helped his back at all. He wondered if he broke anything upon entry. He sat up with a quiet groan, rolling his shoulders. A dull ache in between this shoulder plates. He stretched his neck one way then the other, muscles tight and felt bruised. Gog… Everything was so sore. Honestly it felt like he hadn’t slept at all, which was partially true. He had stayed up most of the night trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

The young troll looked over to the other bed and found it empty. A brief panic overwhelmed him only for the feeling to be shot down by a loud fucking snore next to him. It was only then he realized Gamzee had came over at some point after he passed out from exhaustion to snuggle. That and he was literally on the edge of the fucking bed seeing as the fucker took up most of it. He was tempted to take a horn and honk it in his face to wake him up but he really didn’t want to deal with his stupid fetch modus. He should really swap.. with… He stopped that train of thought. He sat there a moment. Mind reeling back to memories, his last memories. He could remember talking to Terezi about… something. A game? He thinks… He could feel that there was more but it hurt his head to try and pull it to the forefront of his head.

“Karkat?” Karkat’s attention torn and he moved his hands from his eyes. He hadn’t even realized he was pressing them into his eyes. He looked to Gamzee, face paint smeared and kinda glazed, tired eyes looking up at the smaller troll. It was rare for him to use Karkats whole name, “YoU oKaY?”

“Yeah… Yeah, I’m okay… Just tired, fucking human beds suck ass,” He responded quietly.

“FuCk BrO yOu MoThErFuCkIn’ SaId It,” Gamzee laid on his back, stretching his limbs out with a grunt. A knock at the door nearly made Karkat jump out of his skin. That didn’t happen but what did happen was making him fall off the bed with a thud.

“Hey,” The door opened a bit and the Harry kid’s head popped in. He stopped talking and stared at Karkat laying basically on his shoulders with his legs in the air.

“DON’T FUCKING COMMENT…” He growled, pointing at the human.

“...” He stared.

“DON’T.” 

“.....” 

“YOU.”

“.......”

“DARE.”

“Have a nice fall??” Harry smirked. Karkat screeched as he quickly got up and ran to the door. The skinny human laughed and was quick to close the door before the smaller troll got there.

“FUCKING JACKASS!!” Karkat screamed, throwing open the door and seeing the humans black hair disappear down the stairs. A lovely smell was quickly filling the room. Gamzee was suddenly behind him. He looked like he was drooling a little.

“BrOoOoO. wHaT iS tHaT mErAcLe Of A sMeLl?” Gamzee hummed.

Molly’s voice called up, “Breakfast!!!!”

“That, apparently,” Karkat frowned a little. He didn’t feel hungry, though it did smell nice. Aaand Gamzee is pulling him downstairs. Karkat avoided looking at the pictures as the two made their way down. Several voices stopped midconversation when the trolls entered simply because Gamzee forgot to duck. He was whining quietly and holding his head. Dumbass was in such a hurry that he whacked his horns on the door frame. Karkat made sure he had broken or cracked them, “Dumbass, why can’t you watch where you’re going?”

He just whined again.

“Are you okay Gamzee??” Molly asked going to the boys side in a hurry a guardian would have.

“He’ll live,” Karkat answered. Gamzee gave a thumbs up, confirming the smaller trolls words.

“Oh good. If it bothers you just tell me, okay?”

“OkAyYy…” Gamzee hummed, looking at her with a grin. “ThAnKs.”

“Of course! Come sit down, have some eggs and bacon,” Molly gestured to two empty chairs. Karkat didn’t look at the other whom were staring as he moved to sit down. Gamzee took a moment to join him, clumsily maneuvering around the floating plates. Karkat’s eyes darted around to see how many pairs of eyes were staring. That Ron kid was, so was the female doppleganger sitting on the other side of the Harry human. She seemed to have completely stopped mid-cut of one of her eggs. Harry wasn’t. Seemed he had gotten used to looking at the apparent freakshow in the room. Hermione was occasionally looking up, scribbling quickly in that mildly ornate notebook from last night beside her plate. An open textbook was on the other side of the plate. An adult man was behind a newspaper, not noticing the sudden change in the atmosphere.

“Molly dear, have you heard that there has been a change in muggle stamps? There popping up everywhere! There use in stamps is so contrived, its fascinating that they keep using them,” He set down the paper and stopped. He furrowed his brows and seemed to count, as Molly set down two plates in front of the trolls. “Hello there. I don’t believe we’ve met.”

“Arthur, these are the two boys who fell last night,” Molly hummed as she sat down. 

“Their names are Carcat and Gamzee,” Hermione said not looking up from what ever the fuck she was doing.

“WOW THANKS FOR THE UNSOLICITED INTRODUCTION,” Karkat rolled his eyes hard. Gamzee was stuffing his face.

“Ron, it’s you,” the little female redhead nudged the Ron.

“Please, I don’t eat like that,” He retorted.

“Yes, you do.” Hermione hummed.

“I do not!” Goes Ron.

“We’ve lived in the same house since I was born. That’s exactly how you eat,” the redhead was smiling.

“Ginny has a point,” Harry sat back.

“Harry, you’re supposed to be on my side!” Ron feigned being hurt.

Wow, this was fucking stupid, thought the small troll. Gamzee was unfazed by the comments. Actually, Karkat was sure he wasn’t listening at all, just shoveling the cluckbeast and oinkstrips into his maw like he was dying. The man sat up a bit straighter then leaned on the table, “So where are you two from?”

“ALTERNIA,” Karkat said flatly. He hasn’t touched his food at all.

“Ah… Where is that?”

“NOT IN THIS UNIVERSE THAT'S FOR SURE…” He started to pick at his food.

“YoU gOnNa EaT tHaT?” Gamzee muttered leaning over eyeing his plate. Karkat slid it over and Gamzee started in.

“In this universe?”

“As in the Milkyway??” Hermione asked abruptly.

“THIS IS FF… THIS IS EARTH YES?”

“Last I checked,” Arthur said, glancing over his newspaper then his watch. Molly had gotten up and left to the kitchen.

“THEN YEAH. NOT OF THIS UNIVERSE…” Why did that feel like that was wrong?

“So does that make you aliens????” Harry human asked leaning forward. 

“THE PERCEPTION BETWEEN THE TWO OF US IS VERY SKEWED. TO ME THE ONLY ALIENS HERE ARE YOU AND YOUR BULGE-LICKING ILK,” Karkat made a vague gesture to the others sitting at the table. It was a good thing Molly wasn’t sitting at the table anymore. Karkat might’ve actually felt bad about saying that. 

“Okay but you crash landed on Earth, that technically makes you the Alien,” Harry retorted.

“What universe are you from?” Hermione asked.

“ONE YOU CAN’T SEE THROUGH A HIGHPOWERED FREAKIN TELESCOPE. AND AGAIN SHITSTICK, TO ME I AM NOT THE ALIEN HERE.” 

“..Bulge licking? That doesn’t mean what I think it does… does it?” Ron asked, glancing around. 

“Does your planet have muggle rubberducks?” Arthur asked.

“WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?! OF COURSE WE HAVE SQUISHY BATH TOYS IN THE SHAPE OF A QUACKBEAST.”

“What’s the purpose of it?” Asked the adult. Karkat looked at him, What the fuck kind of question is that?? Karkat looked at the technical equivalent of human children. Harry and Hermione just shrugged while Ron and Ginny rolled their eyes. 

Molly walked in with a small thing of toast. She set it in front of Karkat, “Eat just a little alright. Arthur dear, you’re going to be late if you don’t hop to it.”

“Oh!-Oh no,” Arthur got up abruptly and grabbed a type of bag. Molly kissed his cheek before the space seemed to warp around him and he was gone. Karkat had to do a double take.

“WhOoOoA! wHaT wAs ThAt?” Gamzee asked before he could muster the words.

“What?” Ron asked like that was normal.

“THAT?! WHERE’D HE GO??” Karkat pointing to where the adult male had been.

“Magic not common on your planet?” Harry seemed to hum.

“NO, MAJYYKS AREN’T A “COMMON PLACE” ON MY PLANET. ACTUALLY IT’S COMPLETE BULLSHIT AND ONLY WRIGGLERS AND LUNATICS THINK MAJYYK IS REAL.”

“That's what the Muggles think too,” Ron snorted.

“IS THAT SOME SORT OF SLUR?”

“It’s a term for people who aren’t magically inclined,” Hermione explained quickly.

“YEAH AND MUDBLOOD IS _ JUST _A TERM FOR BRONZE TROLLS. RIGHT,” Karkat hissed, crossing his arms. Seemed like everyone in the room winced at the word mudblood, “WHAT?”

“That actually, is a slur here,” Molly sighed.

“SO APPARENTLY ALTERNIA AND EARTH WHATEVER FINALLY HAS SOMETHING IN COMMON! _ GREAAAT… _” Why was he even playing into their curiosity? They didn’t need to know anything about them so why was he spilling out their bullshit to random humans??

“Alrighty then, change of subject! Whats a bronze troll?” Hermione was quick to ask. 

“A BRONZE BLOODED TROLL.” Yeah like that explains everything, says Hermione’s face. Karkat rolled his eyes. Time for the caste system!! “ALRIGHTY THEN. I’LL DUMB IT DOWN FOR YOU. WE TROLLS AS A SOCIETY HAVE THIS THING CALLED THE HEMOSPECTRUM WHERE WE ARE SUBJUGATED BY BLOOD COLOR. GAMZEE HERE IS A PURPLE BLOOD, THOUGH HE DOESN’T FREAKING ACT LIKE IT-"

"What do you mean, he doesn't act like it?" Ron interrupted. 

"DO YOU WANT ME TO EXPLAIN IT OR NOT?" Karkat hissed.

"Yeah, sorry," Ron looked apologetic enough. Fucking pathetic.

"GOG. ANYWAYS, HE’S BASICALLY APART OF THE HIGHER ROYALTY FACTION BECAUSE HE IS HIGHEST OF THE LANDDWELLERS. A BRONZE BLOOD IS A STEP HIGHER THAN BURGUNDY, WHICH IS BASICALLY DIRT IN THE CASTE SYSTEM. THE HEMOSPECTRUM GOES LIKE THIS BURGUNDY, BRONZE, MUSTARD, LIME, OLIVE, JADE, TEAL, CERULEAN, INDIGO, PURPLE, VIOLET, AND FUSCHIA. PEASANT TO ROYALTY IN THAT ORDER."

"So, I'm assuming there are certain roles with every blood color." Hermione was scribbling furiously.

"OF COURSE. THE EMPRESS AND HER ONLY HEIRESS IS FUSHIA. SELF-ENTITLED FISHY ASSHOLES ARE VIOLET. SUBJUGGULATORS ARE PURPLE. MOST RUFFIANNILATORS ARE INDIGO. ARISTOCRATS AND BOUNTY HUNTERS ARE BASICALLY CERULEAN. TEAL IS THE LEGISLATURES AND LAWYERS. GRUBGIVERS IS JADE. ONE NEEDS AN ASSASSINATION? GO TO AN OLIVE BLOOD. MUSTARD BLOODS ARE BASICALLY BATTERIES FOR BATTLESHIPS. BRONZE ARE HERDERS. AND BURGUNDY? JANITORIAL, GARBAGE KEEPERS, REALLY TRIVIAL SHIT THAT NO ONE TAKES A SECOND GLANCE AT."

"What about Lime bloods? What do they do?" Hermione looked up, her brows furrowed a bit.

"LIME BLOODS DON'T EXIST. THE ENTIRE CASTE WAS COMPLETELY WIPED OUT."

"Oh dear," Molly had put her hand over her mouth.

"Why?" Ron had stolen Hermione's question.

"NOT SURE. THE WHOLE FREAKING EVENT WAS STRUCK FROM THE RECORDS. NOT A LOT OF TROLLS KNOW WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED THOUGH I'VE BEEN TOLD ITS BECAUSE THEY WERE ABLE TO PLACATE THE HIGHBLOODS INTO NON MURDEROUS MOODS AND THE EMPRESS, BEING HER AWFUL SELF, THOUGHT LET'S NOT HAVE THAT AND HAD HER ELDRITCH LUSUS KILL OFF AN ENTIRE CASTE…" Karkat stopped talking, his head had started pounding behind his eyes through that entire explanation. Where had he heard that? Where had he heard that?? It was so familiar but he knew, _ knew _ he hadn't heard that on Alternia. He pressed the heel of his hands into his eyes as he leaned on the table a bit. A pressure on the top of his head and gently pats on his face. He could practically smell Gamzee on top of him, shushing him.

"Thanks jackass…" Karkat softly whispered. "MOLLY CAN I HAVE THAT SHIT TASTING BEVERAGE FROM LAST NIGHT?" 

"Give me a moment to make it," Wow, he could barely hear her voice through the numbing of his brain. Karkat could start to kinda feel Gamzee on him. He was helping, surprisingly, in a weird way. The weight on his cranium felt good. The ringing going down slowly and he could kinda hear that Hermione’s scribbles had stopped. He didn’t bring his head up from his arms till he heard the gentle clink of the glass teacup before him. Karkat moved his head to make sure he doesn’t miss grabbing the cup and make a fool of himself. Gamzee was courteous enough to move his head off him. He noticed the others eyes as they stared. He aggressively tried to ignore them as she choked Molly’s medication down.

A few minutes later Ginny was the first to ask, “Are you alright??”

“DO I LOOK ALRIGHT??” Karkat sneered. Ginny flinched but only a little and furrowed her brows.

“No need to be snippy mate,” Harry hummed. Ginny looked at him like _ really _? The Harry human shrugged. Karkat rolled his eyes. 

“KaRbRo AlWaYs GeT tHeSe WiCkEd HeAdAcHeS wHeN hE dOn’T sLeEp. It’S nOrMaL,” Gamzee hummed, running his fingers through Karkats mess of a head. The smaller troll was trying not to enjoy it.

“Him is not sleeping is normal?” Hermione and Molly asked.

“YES, IT IS. TROLLS ARE NOCTURNAL SO FORGIVE ME IF OUR HABITS AREN’T TO YOUR STANDARD OF NORMAL,” Karkat grumbled. 

Gamzee chuckled, “KaRbRo, YoU’rE sO cRaBbY-!! hOlY sHiT, nOw YoUr LuSuS mAkEs SeNcE!!”

“Gamzee… Oh my gog…” Karkats face was in his hands and Gamzee kinda laughed, mumbling something about Miracles. Gog he was such a dumbass!

“Okay..? What’s a Lusus?” Ron asked, making a face.

“IT’S A CARETAKER OF SORTS, LIKE MOLLY.” Karkat grumbled.

“I believe it’s time to put the questioning on pause, at least for now,” Molly was a fucking saint. “I’m sure most of you have homework that needs to be caught up on.”

Harry and Ron groaned in unison. Ginny sighed, standing up as her empty plate lifted, “Unlike the boy, mum, I’m already half way done.”

“It’s because Hermione’s helping you,” Ron said.

“Aw are you mad she’s not letting you and Harry cheat off her anymore?”

“Cheat?? We save the whole wizarding world!-” Ron was cut off.

“And you’re going to do your whole bit of homework by yourself.” Hermione retorted.

Ron’s flapper opened and closed like a fish, Harry laughed and clapped a hand on the other boy’s shoulder, “Hate to break it to you mate, but I think it’s time to grow up.”

Ron couldn’t seem to form words as the girls laughed too. Gamzee was also laughing. Karkat just sighed… fucking dumbass. Drinking the gross concoction before deciding he wanted to get away from the crowded dining area.

He went out the door they came in last night and flinched from the sun. It was softer than his planet that's for sure… It was weird. He stared up at the blue sky. White clouds rolling by slowly. It was so weird… He glanced back. No one was coming after him. Thank god. He walked out a little ways, kinda letting his feet wander. He stopped at the edge of a pond… Apparently the one he stumbled out of. He rubbed his head under his horn. Fuck… how had he and Gamzee gotten there?? Were the others here on Earth B?? Somewhere else?? CRABTOP! HOLY SHIT HE COULD USE TROLLIAN. WHY DIDN’T HE THINK OF THAT???? He proceeded to whip out his communication device and pulled up the chat boxes. Everyone was on, so he clicked on Terezi’s trollian.

####  **carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 8:07**

**CG:** TEREZI?

**CG:** TEREZI ARE YOU THERE???

####  **gallowsCalibrator [GC] is idle… **

Why wasn’t she answering?? His heart was beating fast. Why wasn’t she answering???

“KaRbRo?” FffffucKING GAMZEE. Karkat turned to see the tall troll slowly walking up. “WhAt’S gOiNg On My InVeRtBrOtHeR?”

“NOTHING! NOTHING IS GOING ON!!” Karkat had put up his hands in exasperation. “I CAN’T GET A HOLD OF TEREZI. AT ALL.”

Gamzee made a face. One that was between disgust and confusion… which is weird. He’s never once shown any actual negativity toward anyone and he’s spoken to Eridan MULTIPLE times. WHY WAS EVERYTHING SO WEIRD TODAY?! “WhY cAn’T yOu TaLk To HeR?”

“IT SAYS SHE’S IDLE BUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT SHE WOULD BE DOING TO NOT ANSWER. CAN YOU GET A HOLD OF ANYONE?” Karkat watched Gamzee sit next to him as he pulled out his palmhusk then bringing up Trollian. It says the others are on like his crabtop. He clicked on Tavros, of course.

####  **terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling adiosToreador [AT] at 8:28**

**TC:** TaVbRo We LaNdEd In SoMe WiCkEd MoThErFuCkIn PlAcE

**TC:** iTs FuLl Of So MaNy MeRiCaLs

**TC:** TaVbRo??

**TC:** ??? :o(

####  **adiosToreador [AT] is idle… **

“He’S nOt ReSpOnDiN…” Gamzee frowned. Karkat’s brows furrowed.

“What the fuck…?” He ran a hand through his hair in confusion.

“DoEs ThIs MeAn We’Re AlOnE hErE??” 

“I don’t know… I mean…” He seemed to be at a loss of words. He didn’t know. “Everything is so weird and I have no idea what the hell happened or what brought us here…”

There was a quiet pause, “I rEmEmBeR a RoOm WiTh A lOt A cOmMuNiCaTiOn DeViCeS… mY hOrN pIlE wAs ThErE… i-I tHiNk SoMeThInG eXpLoDeD iN tHe CoRnEr???” 

“Communication devices??” Gamzee shrugged. He looked as confused as Karkat felt. The description seemed vague though he felt like he knew what room he was talking about. He could see Gamzee dancing by the horn pile. His head was starting to hurt a bit. 

“MaN, mY tHiNkPaN kInDa HuRtS…” Gamzee rubbed his temple. Karkat patted his shoulder, he was trying not to look at the scars that were under his makeup.

“Is it because you whacked your horns on the door frame??”

That got Gamzee to laugh, “NaH kArBrO.”

There was a screech, a fluttering of wings and suddenly there was an owl smacking into Karkats face. BLEH!! Karkat screeched as well as Gamzee started to laugh, not at all moving to help Karkat defend against the invading bird. Karkat eventually grabbed the offending bird by the legs and held it’s flapping form away from him with a hiss. 

“OH! An owl!” Hermione’s voice startled the smaller troll into letting the hootbeast go. It flapped to the human girl as Ron came up, landing upon her outstretched arm. Harry had come up the other side.

“Gamzee you got something on your head,” Harry pointed to the top of his head and Gamzee tried to look up. The smaller hootbeast flapped to avoid falling and landed on the clowns crossed leg.

“Oh ShIt! KaRbRo, It’S a TiNy HoOtBeAsT!” Gamzee wasn’t hesitant to pet the bird on its breast. 

“I CAN SEE THAT,” Karkat had moved a bit away from it.

“Hootbeast…?” Ron asked quietly, brows furrowed.

“Carcat! You got a letter!” Harry announced, waving the yellowed envelope. 

“FROM WHO?! WHO THE FUCK KNOWS WE’RE EVEN HERE???” Karkat had put away his crabtop. The Harry human handed him a letter. On the front was written in green ink,  To a Mr. Karkat Vantas. The Burrow . Karkat furrowed his brows and tore open the paper.

“Gamzee’s owl also has a letter…” Hermione pointed out. Gamzee seemed to notice it then and there. He was slow on taking the letter from the owl and held it close to his nose to read it.

“Isn’t that Professor McGonagall’s handwriting?” Ron asked from over Gamzee’s shoulder.

“It’s Headmistress and yes. I think they got letters to attend Hogwarts,” Ginny was behind Karkat and he nearly flipped his shit. When the fuck had she gotten there?

“FOR SHIT’S SAKE DON’T SNEAK UP ON SOMEONE, FUCK!” He half hissed. 

“Quit being a baby and read the letter already.” Ginny hummed.

  
  


HOGWARTS SCHOOL  _ of  _ WITCHCRAFT  _ and  _ WIZARDRY

Headmaster: Minerva McGonagall

_ (Order of Merlin, First Class, Grant Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards) _

Dear Mr. Vantas,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.

Term begins on the 1st of September, We await your owl by no later than the 31st of July.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

Headmistress

The second page had a list of shit to get. Karkat was confused, wizards were bullshit! They didn’t exist.

“Looks like they both got the same letter,” Hermoine was examining Gamzee’s over his shoulder.

“WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS BULLSHITTERY MEAN?” 

“Mean’s you’re a wizard mate,” Harry grinned.

Well… Shit just got weirder and he had a feeling the weirdness was only starting… 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kittykarus:  
:O  
NOT ALL, BUT WHEN YOU FIND GOOD ONES THEN YEAH ITS PRETTY WORTH IT TO READ.  
HOLY SHITE THANK YOU SO MUCH! IT'S SO NICE TO HEAR!!! :D


	3. CHAPTER THREEEEEEE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR KIDS!! BOY ITS BEEN A HOT FREAKIN MINUTE HUH? SORRY FOR THE WAIT!!
> 
> To Ezzykatt: THANK YOU!! YA GOTTA READ TO FIND OUT ;3c

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND. THIS HAS TO BE A FFffREAKING JOKE,” Karkat had crossed his arms as Molly Weasley plopped a hat on his head to cover his horns up. 

“What don’t you understand? You’re going to school and getting new stuff for it,” Ron was reading one of the two trolls letters.

“They’re only getting their wands and a few of the newer books Ron. We have to get new books too, remember,” Hermione reminded.

“Yeah exactly new stuff.” She rolled her eyes at that.

“WHY DO I EVEN NEED TO COVER UP MY FREAKING HORNS IF WE ARE GOING TO A PLACE FULL OF MAGICAL JUNK ANYWAYS??”

“Because a lot of wizards are prejudiced against a lot of people whom are different than them.” Harry said flatly.

“OH GREAAAAT. RACISTS. FANTASTIC…” 

“You said it,” Harry had gotten up from the armchair and took up a shoulder bag when Molly was finished with getting the floppy hat over Gamzee’s long ass horns. He looked weird without his horns sticking out. Hell the hat was still floppy as if his horns weren’t even shoved inside. Ron handed Karkat his letter back and shoved his hands into his pockets.

“Are you all ready? Got your money and what not??” Molly asked. She looked like she was fretting in the way protective guardians do. 

“Yes mum. We got the lists, the money and we’ll keep an eye on the trolls.” Ron reassured. Karkat bit his tongue from saying he wasn’t a fucking wriggler who needed grubsitting.

“Alright… alright. Be careful please,” She said hugging all of them. Even the two trolls, which Karkat had to not squeak from shock. Humans were so fucking weird. Ron and Ginny were first to take out their sticks of stupidity and weirdly distort as they disappeared. Hermione offered her hand to Gamzee which he took as soon as he noticed her and they too, disappeared. Harry was grinning smugly at Karkat.

“DON’T TOUCH ME.”

“Nah.” The Harry kid clapped a hand on his shoulder and the world fucked around them. Karkat got dizzy as soon as they both stopped. He nearly fell to the floor as the world spun.

“Holy fuck…” the small troll nearly vomited.

“Yeah it’s never fun the first time round.” Harry patted his back. 

“What the fuck was that??” He wheezed as the world started to right itself and stop moving.

“Apparition. Good for getting around,” Hermione said. Karkat looked up as his queasiness subsided. Gamzee was leaning against the wall, his face in his hands. 

“Normally people vomit the first time Apparting.” Harry said, “So I’m impressed.”

“ALTERNIA USES TELEPORTATION PADS. THIS ‘apparition’ IS ROUGHER BUT NOT UNLIKE THE TELE-PADS…” Karkat stood up fully. He was still a bit dizzy but not so much anymore. Both Harry and Hermione glanced at each other, their eyes going a little wide.

“Your planet has already developed teleportation???” Hermione asked. 

“ARE YOU DEAF? I JUST SAID WE HAD TELE-PADS,” Karkat sneered. Both their faces seemed to light up. He could see all the questions running through Hermione’s head, she looked like she was gonna burst. Harry put a hand on her shoulder.

“I think you can interrogate him later. We have things to pick up.” She looked like she deflated a little.

“Right. We should go catch up with Ginny and Ron then,” she took the lead as Karkat went to Gamzee’s side. It was then he took notice they were in an alleyway. Dingy and a bit dark and smelt a tad awful. Looked like scorch marks on the bricks closer to the street. Getting closer to said street, there was a rise in noise. He could see people chatting, walking by, animals of various nature squawking and carts rolling on brick roads. It was loud but less awful than the alleyway.

“Stay close. Don’t want you two to get lost,” Harry said ushering them forward. They stepped out and Karkat felt overwhelmed almost immediately. To say the road was crowded was a complete understatement. This was worse than the regular shitshows on Alternia. It was hard to move through the congested street, all of them in a single file line. Gamzee was having to be drug along because every flying thing caught his attention and his eyes would go wide. Gog he was such a wriggler. Karkat gently shoved him along. He had no idea where they were going but it would be way better than here in the street full of weirdo pink monkey’s in strange garbs and robes. Owls and rats perched on their shoulders. What the fuck?

The two were led into a store that still had very visible burn marks on the wood. Karkat managed to catch the sign above the door. Olivander’s Wand Shop. What kind of fucking name was that? Inside was quieter than the street. There weren’t many people but those that were, were either sitting in a few chairs near the door or browsing the many boxes in front of the desk. An old man was milling around in the back, hidden in shadows. It smelt musty and ashy and maybe a bit moldy. Harry and Hermione went to the desk, waiting. 

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE DOING IN HERE?” Karkat asked the two humans. 

“Oh, I’m sorry children, I hadn’t-- Ah! Harry! Hermione! How are you? How are you??” The old man came from the shadows of the shop and around the desk. He hugged the two child humans warmly.

“We’re doing better now that the war is over,” Hermione said smiling ear to ear.

“How have you been, Ollivander?” Harry asked.

“Arthritis in my knees and fingers but I am well, thank you. What can I do for you? Ron didn’t break his wand again had he?”

Hermione seemed to giggle a little, “No, not this time. We actually have a few friends that need wands.”

The old man looked at Gamzee and Karkat with raised brows, “Now whom is this?”

“Karkat and Gamzee, sir,” Harry answered. Clearly they respected the old coot. Karkat raised a brow when he went to examine the clown first, squinting through spectacles. He muttered quietly and moved to Karkat. The smaller troll felt super uncomfortable under his gaze and shifted on his feet. Then he moved away, back behind the desk and into the dusty shelves.

“AGAIN. _ WHAT _, ARE WE DOING HERE?” Karkat asked again.

“Getting you two a wand,” Hermione stated simply.

“WHAT LIKE YOUR TWIGS OF ABSOLUTE STUPIDITY?” 

“Yes. Exactly like our twigs of absolute stupidity. Now you’re going to have your own twig of stupidity,” Harry grinned. Karkat sneered at his smug ass face. 

The old man came back with two to four boxes, “Here we go. Come closer now. Come, come.”

Gamzee didn’t hesitate, dragging Karkat with him, “MoThErFuCkIn MeRiCaLs…”

The old man offered a long stick to the taller troll, “Try this young man.”

Gamzee took it and stared at it.

“Give it a wave,” Harry said as he and Hermione stepped back. Gamzee glanced at Karkat and shrugged, waving the long stick casually. Dusty boxes went flying from the shelves and the old man shook his head.

“That one won’t do. Try this one then,” Ollivander took the first one back from the marveling clown and handed another long stick. This time it was longer by four inches. Good fuck. Gamzee didn’t hesitate this time and flicked his wrist. It sparked a purple color, oddly close to his blood and the old man nodded. “Holly 17 3/4 inches, dragon heartstring. Very good, very good.”

“MoThErFuCkIn SwEeT…” Gamzee was grinning widely, staring in awe of the stick. Ollivander took his own stick of stupidity and flicked it, sending the other three boxes away as he went back to the shelves. He took a bit longer this time, muttering to himself. He came back with a singular box for Karkat.

“Have a go son,” he said, opening the box. The stick presented before him was smaller than Gamzee’s first and a warm color. Karkat took it and was hesitant on waving it, feeling stupid about doing so. The wand sparked a brilliant candy red which made him flush. Gamzee made a noise of amazement. The old man nodded, “Red oak 9 inches, unicorn hair. Good for dueling.”

“Alright. How much do we owe?” Harry went on to pay as Hermione started to usher the two trolls back out. 

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY I NEED A FUCKING STICK.”

“Because you’re a wizard Karkat and wizards need wands to do magic,” she vaguely explained.

“MoThErFuCkIn MeRiCaLs! HoNk HoNk HoNk!” Gamzee was examining his wand over with pure delight. Hermione grinned at his enthusiasm. 

“See he’s not questioning why you need a wand.”

“THAT’S BECAUSE HE’S A FUCKING CLOWN AND THEY DON’T QUESTION SHIT BECAUSE IT RUINS THE MERICALS OR WHATEVER.” Karkat rolled his eyes hard. 

“Okay, how about this, you need a wand to help direct your magic to do what you want and gain control over it,” Hermione explained.

“I STILL THINK IT’S POINTLESS,” Karkat frowned.

“KaRbRo It’S fUlL oF mOtHeRfUcKiN mErIcAlS!” 

“YEAH… YEAH IT IS… fucking stupid…” 

Harry came out, “All paid up. Let’s go find Ron and Ginny.”

“They should be at the Weasley Wizard Wheezes,” Hermione led the way through the too crowded streets. Karkat wanted to scream, feeling claustrophobic. He saw eyes looking at Gamzee as they passed by. Brows furrowing with question and in confusion. Karkat muttered under his breath on how they needed to mind their fucking business. Gamzee suddenly took his hand and he was jerked forward as Gamzee ran. He heard Hermione shout and Harry laugh.

“WHAT THE Fu…?” The red building made his eyes go round as Gamzee stopped at the window. Gog he could practically see the sparkles in his slightly purple eyes. Then again, Karkat could feel the sparkles in his eyes looking at the things in the window. So many fucking colors and trinkets. Most of them were moving and changing colors. Karkat saw something from his peripheral vision. Harry had come up beside them. Hermione had already gone in along with several people of various ages.

“Still think magic isn’t real?” he asked with a grin.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU SHITEATING BITCH,” Karkat sneered.

“WhAt ThE mOtHeRfUcK iS tHiS pLaCe?” Gamzee wasn’t hesitant on going through the door, ducking to miss the door frame.

“Weasely’s Wizard Wheezes. Most popular joke shop in Diagon Alley!” Ron answered upon the troll’s entrance. He was looking over something that kinda looked edible. Another look alike suddenly shown up beside Ron, an arm going around his shoulder. He was wearing magenta robes that seemed to clash magnificently with his red hair.

“These your new friends Ron?” He asked, brows raised, nearly disappearing into his hairline. “Course they are, they stand out like a sore thumb, like Harry here.”

“Oi, rude!” Harry grinned. This place was crowded as hell and there was so much happening at once, Karkat wasn’t used to it at all. Gamzee was having fun ogling at everything with an opened mouth. Stairs were seemingly everywhere going up to parts unseen. There were what looked like candies of every kind, all completely forgien to the crabby troll. John would fucking love this place, Karkat thought idly as something quickly flew overhead.

“George! How much for these?” Ginny asked from a stair above them.

“What’s it?” the older look alike asked. 

“The Ten-Second Pimple Vanisher!” 

“Nine Sickles!”

“I’m your sister!” she sounded mildly offended.

“That’s right isn’t it, three Sickles!” 

Ron looked absolutely befuddled, “Why does she get a discount and not me?!”

“I don’t see you dating Harry,” George grinned.

Ron looked at Harry with a disbelieving look, “Can you believe this?”

“Perks of dating the one who gave them their start up money, Ron!” Ginny called down.

“Harry you and I need to start dating or something.” 

Harry laughed, “Not happening mate. I’m taken.”

"That and I will straight up fight you Ron," Ginny grinned.

“Speaking of prices, those Creepy Crawlies are two Galleons.”

“WHAT?!”

George laughed. Karkat seemed to notice he was missing an ear… Gamzee then drug him to a cage that held colorful puffs of teeny tiny animals. A sign said Pygmy Puffs. Gamzee was cooing at a bright red one that seemingly matched Karkats ungodly strange mutant blood. Not that Gamzee would know his blood color, it was his closely guarded secret all his life. Still, it made the smaller troll a bit uncomfortable that Gamzee went straight for the bright candy red one.

“Like em mate? The red ones are newly bred along with the lime green ones. They’re quite popular, that ones our last one until next month.” George said coming from nowhere, making Karkat jump. Fuck! He hated it! Gamzee continued to coo at it. The tiny puff seemed to like the clown, purring and churring at him. “Seems it likes you. Want it?”

“HoLy FuCk YeS…” Gamzee sounded like he was on the brink of tears.

“GAMZEE NO. YOU CAN BARELY TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.” Karkat interjected.

“KaRbRo PlEeEeEaSe…” Gamzee was giving the smaller troll puppy eyes. Karkat crossed his arms not looking at all moved. He even stuck out his bottom lip. Still not moved. “PlEeEeEeEeEeAsE kArBrO! I’lL fEeD iT aN cHaNgE iT’s WaTeR aN eVeN mOtHeRfUcKiN pIcK uP tHe GrOsS bItS. pLeEeEeEeEeSe! PlEaSe, PlEaSe, PlEaSe!”

“FUCK FINE! GOG! CAN YOU BE ANYMORE FUCKING ANNOYING, JEEGUS GAMZEE,” In the end, Karkats little heart couldn’t say no to the big eyed dumbass of a friend.

“That’d be five Galleons mate.”

Karkat was about to ask what the fuck a Galleon was when Harry came up beside him, digging out a few gold coins, “I got you covered. They haven’t the money yet. Need to stop by the bank and open a vault for you.”

“FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC. AND I THOUGHT BOONBUCKS WERE COMPLICATED,” Karkat rolled his eyes as George pocketed the money and opened the cage for Gamzee to take the Pygmy. The puff ball squeaked happily and churred as Gamzee rubbed his cheek against it. A small smile tugged at his mouth seeing his best friend happy. 

“What are you gonna name it?” Harry asked.

“No IdEa,” Gamzee admitted. He cooed and loved on that thing, “ChErRy FaYgO.”

“ARE YOU SERIOUS?” Karkat couldn’t believe his fucking ears.

“YeP! hIs NaMe Is ChErRy FaYgo,” he grinned, like he was proud. Gog are you fucking serious Gamzee? Seriously??? Karkat shook his head.

“What’s cherry faygo?” he heard Ron ask.

“A SHITTY FUCKING DRINK CONSUMED BY HIS DUMBASS CULT RELIGION,” Karkat had vaguely explained and only rolled his eyes hard when he saw Ron’s face contort into confusion. Karkat was heading to the door, already sick and tired of this shop and how bright it was. Hermione and Ginny was at the counter buying something. Of what he couldn’t see nor did he care, he just wanted out of there.

He stepped out onto the mildly dreary street. Thankfully the crowd had dispersed a bit since they got there. He leaned on the wall by the bright store and looked at his feet. He got out his new stick of stupidity and looked over the warm colored wood. It was smooth down to where he was supposed to hold it then it rounded into a swirl at the bottom. On the other side the swirl was on the opposite. Almost like it was mirroring his sign. It was warm against his hand and was it weird to say it felt right? Like holding his sickles. Was that weird?? Yeah probably.

“There you are,” Ginny’s voice made him jump. He pocketed his wand as he looked at her. She smiled, brows raised. “You okay?”

“Fine,” he grumbled, frowning at her.

“Too bright inside? It’s okay, it hurts my eyes sometimes too.” She went to stand next to him. “Surprised to not see Gamzee with you.”

“Why?” He narrowed his eyes a bit.

She shrugged, “I mean, if I was in a foreign place I wouldn’t leave the only faces I knew.”

“There a point to you gumflapping at me??” 

“Not really. Thought you wouldn’t want to be alone in someplace strange,” she smiled a little at him, her freckles moving with her cheeks. “Heard you got a wand already. Can I see?”

Karkat mumbled something and fished it from his pocket, handing it to her then crossed his arms. She looked it over.

“Reminds me of the Cancer symbol on your shirt. It’s really interesting. Hope it serves you well. Wanna learn a spell or two while we wait?” She asked, handing it back to him. Karkat grumbled again. “I am going to assume that is a yes. So let’s start with a simple light spell. _ Lumos _.”

“Lumos? That derived from lumen which literally fucking means light?” Karkat asked like that was the stupidest thing he had ever heard.

“You aren’t stupid, that’s for sure,” she smiled more.

“Was that a fucking insult??”

“Can be. Now watch closely. _ Lumos _,” she had flicked her hand and there was a light at the end of the stick, softly glowing in the days dim light. 

Karkat narrowed his eyes and attempted the same, “Lumos, or whatever…” 

Nothing happened. Ginny flicked her wand and the light went off, “Try again, concentrate. _ Lumos _.” 

The light on her stick came back in with a particular flick. A loop she had done. Karkat scowled and tried again, attempting to copy the flicking loop Ginny had done, “_ Lumos… _”

Karkats shitty stick of stupidity suddenly mirrored the soft light Ginny’s had. His eyes widened a bit. He was quiet when he murmurred a “what the fuck…?”

“Good! That’s great! Not everyone gets it on the second try let alone the first,” Ginny smiled at him. “Now to turn it off. _ Nox _.”

The light on her stick went out with the word. Karkat had watched her hand. A single wave flick. He tried too, “_ Nox _.”

The light on his wand went out completely. Karkat was about to lose his fucking mind. “Magic is fucking stupid…”

Ginny laughed, “Yeah probably to you, though it does come in handy.”

Harry’s laughter interrupted the little lesson in charms as he, Ron, Hermione and Gamzee walked out. Ron looked a bit unhappy, muttering to himself. 

“George stiff you again?” Ginny asked her brother.

“Of course he did,” Hermione answered for him. Ron just mumbled something under his breath and shoved his hands into his jean pockets. Gamzee gone to Karkat chatting about how miraculous Cherry Faygo was, still cooing and doting on the puff. Karkat was starting to half regret letting him get the damn thing if he was going to be annoying about it.

The group walked further into the crowd and down the street.


	4. CHAPTER FUCKING FOUR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry its so short

The shop Karkat entered and didn’t catch the name of, smelled old and moldy and gog awful. It was filled with books, some stacks going all the way to the ceiling. Old, new and rotted books galore. Gogs it stank of wood rot and wet paper. There were books flying above them as people moved about shopping. He almost felt bad for some of these books. Hermione was looking over the lists from all their letters. 

“I don’t understand why we can’t give them our old books,” Ron said over the noise.

“Because Ron, they burned when those Death Eaters attacked the Burrow,” Hermione had reminded.

“Oh yeah.” Ron scratched his head.

“How’d you forget that?” Ginny asked.

“I’ve slept since then,” Ron grinned. Ginny rolled her eyes.

“We might have to split up for these,” Harry had looked over their lists. “Seems like they’ll be going through all the years just to get to Seventh.”

“You think they can do that?” Ron asked, coming to look at the list himself.

“WHAT? THINK WE AREN’T SMART ENOUGH TO CATCH UP TO YOUR DUMBASSES?” Karkat crossed his arms and looked offended.

“Thaaats debatable,” Harry said. Karkat flipped him off immediately. 

“OH, HA HA POTTER. VERY FUCKING FUNNY. WE’RE ALL COMEDIANS HERE AREN’T WE.” the smaller troll sneered. There was a loud clattering and a honking noise. Karkat looked up to the roof, a headache forming behind his eyes as he turned around to find Gamzee had tripped into one of the tall stacks of books. Ginny was helping him up.

“I’m OkAy!” he grinned, rubbing his head where the base of his horn met his skull from under his ridiculous flappy ass hat.

“IS YOUR PUFFBALL OKAY THOUGH?” Karkat asked. Gamzee’s face blanked and he panicked for a moment.

Ginny had presented the red puffball to him, “I have Cherry Faygo Gamzee, don’t worry.”

“ThAnKs SiS,” he sighed, taking the little pygmy from her and petting the little concerned churring thing. “tHoUgHt I cRuShEd Ya LiTtLe DuDe.”

There was a voice on the other side of the claustrophobic shop that made every humans face in the group turn either pale, disgusted or completely unreadable. Ron seemed to tense up slightly and turned to straight up head for the door to leave. Hermione went after him, her brows knitted together and her pace was swift. Now that, confused Karkat. Ron had a look that the small troll hadn’t seen on him. Gamzee wasn’t at all paying attention to the sudden shift of mood in the group. 

Harry sighed, “Looks like he’s here… Thought he’d be locked up for sure…”

“WHO???” Karkat asked.

“Draco Malfoy. Pale blond in the back talking with his mother, the veiled lady next to him,” Harry thumbed behind him. Karkat moved to see over the shoulders Of the crowd and through the stacks of books. Low and behold a tall, thin, white haired man in nice clothing was looking at a book cover. He was talking with a woman dressed in black which looked like velvet and a black veil sat obscuring her face from view. 

Harry continued, “They were on the wrong side of the war.”

“O-KAY?” Karkat lost a lot of the interest he had, “SO I’M GUESSING RON ISN’T TOO HAPPY HE’S HERE?”

“You can say that.”

“Draco did a lot of terrible shit last couple of years and none of us are ready to forgive,” Grinny added. 

Harry’s brows raised, “Wow Gin, didn’t think I would hear that come from your mouth.”

“What? I’m old enough to cuss,” she said matter of factly.

“I’m telling Molly on you,” Ginny elbowed him as he chuckled.

“YOU TWO DISCUST ME,” Karkat frowned. “CAN WE GET OUR BOOKS OR WHATEVER AND GO?”

“Yeah, let’s just give Malfoy a wide berth,” Ginny glanced back.

Karkat moved his hands a bit wildly as he spoke, “YEAH YEAH YEAH FUCKING WHATEVER.”

Karkat grabbed Gamzee’s arm and pulled him along, snatching the sheet of paper that had their book list on it. As he was reading it, he felt his thinkpan do a literal double take. What the fuck are these names?

  * _The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 1 by Miranda Goshawk_
  * A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot
  * Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling
  * A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration by Emeric Switch
  * One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore
  * Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger
  * Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander
  * The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection by Quentin Trimble
  * The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 2 by Miranda Goshawk
  * Memory Spells and What A Fool Does: A Gilderoy Lockhart Biography by Eric Recorder
  * The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 3 by Miranda Goshawk
  * Unfogging the Future by Cassandra Vablatsky (if attending Divination)
  * Intermediate Transfiguration by Emeric Switch
  * The Monster Book of Monsters (if attending Care of Magical Creatures)
  * Numerology and Grammatica (if attending Arithmancy)
  * Home Life and Social Habits of British Muggles by Wilhelm Wigworthy (if attending Muggle Studies)
  * Spellman's Syllabary (if attending Study of Ancient Runes)
  * The Essential Defence Against the Dark Arts by Arsenius Jigger
  * The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 4 by Miranda Goshawk
  * The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection
  * The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 5 by Miranda Goshawk
  * Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard
  * The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 6 by Miranda Goshawk
  * Advanced Potion-Making by Libatius Borage
  * Confronting the Faceless
  * A Guide to Advanced Transfiguration by Emeric Switch
  * Advanced Rune Translation
  * Flesh-Eating Trees of the World
  * The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 7 by Miranda Goshawk

What the fuck kind of bullshit?? What were these human names???? They were either literal or nonsensical. Fuck it, this shit is already weird. Karkat maneuvered around the crowds as Ginny and Harry pointed him and Gamzee to the right bookshelves. They had to make several trips to the counter and that shop keeper looked happy when they were leaving, now having had a large sum of coin in his pocket. Not that it seemed to bother Harry when he paid. Ginny though, had kinda fretted over the prices and had picked them older versions of the books which looked cheaper. All the while, avoiding this thin blond human that went by the name Draco Malfoy. Ron and Hermione hadn’t came back in during their stupid shopping spree. With their two sets of books in a small bag that Karkat deemed a sort of Sylladex though he saw no Captchalogue Card be used. 

"ARE WE GOING ANYWHERE ELSE IN THIS OVERCROWDED DINGY ALLEYWAY?" Karkat asked as they got into said crowded street.

"We still need to get you two a cauldron, either a cat, a toad or an owl, robes, aaaand… dress robes…?” Hermione’s brows scrunched.

“Oh no… don’t tell me…” Harry said with a slight grimace.

“It uh… seems so…” 

Karkat was confused, “WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYONE SUDDENLY ON EDGE AGAIN?”

“Because dress robes mean that there is going to be another Triwizard Tournament.” Ginny frowned.

“Does that mean I have to wear those hand me downs again??” Ron had winced as he said that.

“Probably!” Harry laughed.

“Oi! It’s not funny! Those robes smelt bloody awful…” AAaaand Karkat was, once again, lost. He rolled his eyes and started walking.

“CAN WE JUST HURRY THE FUCK UP ALREADY??” He grumbled.

“We’ll go get you fitted for robes. Harry, Ron, can you get them the animals?” Ginny asked.

“Sure thing,” Harry hummed as he took Ron's arm and they went the opposite direction. Great. Now Karkat was stuck with ms know-it-all and the redhead look-alike…

Speaking of which, Ginny has taken Karkats arm, leading him and Gamzee to another dingy looking store. He barely had time to catch the name.  _ Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions _ . That seemed normal enough surprisingly. Inside smelled of mothballs and fresh clean fabric. Some of the structure looked like it had also sustained some fire damage. There were so many clothes on shelves and cubbies and a few mannequins that Karkat refused to look at because there were no faces and honestly… That shit is fucking creepy as hell.

“Oh hello!” A squat woman greeted. She was dressed in mauve clothing. She was pale, blue eyed with white hair and an overly cheery smile that kinda creeped Karkat out. Who is that happy??

“Hello Madam Malkin! These two need robes for school and dress robes,” Ginny informed the older woman. Malkin would blink a few times, obviously noting the grey of the boy’s skin and orange of their eyes. But it was very brief and she circled the boys.

“I’m sure I can find you some that fit! Come along you two, come to the back,” Malkin would head behind some curtains. Hermione sat down and took up a magazine. Ginny would nod for Karkat to follow and sat down as well. A flying tap measure came to Karkats' side as soon as he stepped behind the curtain. It zipped around as it quickly took his measurements and he was trying real hard not to bat it away from him. Gamzee giggled the entire time.

“ThAt TiCkLeS!” He snorted as the tape zoomed around his mid before going to Madam Malkins. She would go and pick out robes for them both to try on and hem. Gamzee had to be told to stand still because he kept swaying. Dumb ass high clown… that actually reminded him of something. When was the last time Gamzee had actually eaten any soper? He couldn’t remember… Did Gamzee even have any of his shit pies in his sylladex?? He’ll have to check later when they get back to the Weasley hive. 

“All done! You two look dashing!!” She smiled stepping back so the two trolls could see the mirror. Black pressed pants, white cuffed shirt under a long almost heavy robe… God they were starting to look like the part for shitty wizards. “I’m assuming you will also need dragon skin gloves as well?”

“YEAH…” Gog, every way he shifted to look at himself in the mirror was damping his mood. Mainly because he didn’t have his squishy face anymore. Well.. it’s still squishy but not as squishy as he had remembered. He looked roughly 9 sweeps now. His mutant blood color was starting to tint the black of his iris. The bags under his eyes were the same though… 

“Is there something wrong young man? Do they not fit proper?” The woman asked, snapping Karkat out of his examination in the mirror.

“THEY FIT FINE.” He huffed quietly. 

“Oh good!” She smiled that too cheery smile. Soon enough both trolls were back out into the waiting room. Seemed Ron and Harry were back. Ron was holding a bird, large, brown and striped and had two feathery patrutions on either side of its head. It seemed to fluff a bit seeing Karkat. Didn’t help that Karkat had also fluffed seeing it. It stared at him with it’s large round eyes. 

Gamzee plopped a hand on Karkats head, “WhOaAaAa… WhAtS tHaT??”

“This is a Great Horned Owl Gamzee,” Ron’s brows furrowed slightly. “You don’t know what an owl is?”

“YES HE DOES, WE’VE NEVER SEEN THEM THAT COLOR THOUGH…” Karkat answered.

“What colors do they normally come in?” Hermione really couldn’t resist could she?

“WhItE wIcKeD sIs!” Gamzee hummed coming up to the bird to attempt to pet. It hooted at him, not taking its judgemental eyes off of Karkat as Gamzee petted its feathers. The smaller troll would stare back with just as much judgement. “So SoFt…”

“You like him?” Ron asked.

“YeAaAh,” the clown chuckled a little, still petting the bird.

“Cool, he’s yours mate.”

Gamzee’s eyes lit up, “WhOa ReAlLy???”

“Yep. Cheers mate,” Ron would hand the bird over carefully. Gamzee was grinning ear to ear. Seemed like it was his wriggling day. Meanwhile, Harry had moved to the smaller trolls side. He was holding a type of small crate.

“Don’t think we forgot about you,” The dark haired ass said with a smug little grin. He didn’t trust that. He handed the crate over, “Go on now.”

Karkat rolled his eyes and set the crate down and opened it. He was met with a hiss and round green eyes. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Your welcome Kar- _ Cat _ !”

“HARRY… I FUCKING HATE YOU.”

  
  
  


Air, so light and flowing around quickly. A bit of moisture too. No telling which way was up or down with all the turbulence the wind created making her tumble and roll. The ground would hit hard against her back, knocking the breath out from her lungs. It took her longer than she would like to admit to feel anything in her fingertips and toes before she would try to move. She felt around, grass… Soft grass and warmth from a sun on her skin. Not her sun. She would be fire kindling by now if that were the case. Grunting from the strain and pain in her back, she moved slowly sitting up. Oof her head, she had gotten a bit dizzy. Who knew that free falling could wrack your thinkpan like that?

She would stop a moment to listen. The awful high pitched ringing in her ears was fading and she could hear… birds? Yeah definitely birds. She felt around the ground… Where was it…? The fabric over her eyes sagged a bit. She could see light. Wait what???? She stopped looking for her cane and went to feel her face. She tugged it off and was blinded for a moment with white. Then… Green and blue and… Oh gog… 

“Ugh… That suuuuuuuucked…” 

“VR1SK4????”

“Terezi????????”

  
  
  


####  **arachnidsGrip [AG] and gallowsCalibrator [GC] have joined the game.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW I REALLY DO BE UPDATING ONCE A YEAR HUH?

**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU FOR READING


End file.
